Parent Problems

2012/12/17 in Ask Marlena

Dear Marlena,

Right now, it feels like my life sucks. I’m homeschooled so I have no social interaction, outside of my family, with anyone unless my parents say I can go out. There are times when they’re completely cool with me being out, like the week of Halloween I went out with my cousins on three separate ‘school nights’ until about 2 but then there times when I don’t get to do anything. Of course this usually happens when I am behind in my school work or ‘have an attitude’. Both of these problems have been a reoccurring theme and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t really care either way. I get that they’re trying to help but I’m almost always in trouble for one of the two. But other then those two issues, I don’t have any real problems. I don’t get into trouble, I’m not secretly dating someone, I don’t do drugs, I don’t generally lie to them so why can’t they be a little more lax? I get that they’re trying to help but… It doesn’t feel like it anymore and it’s gotten to the point that I wonder if I really do have an attitude problem or of they’re just making a big deal out of nothing. I’m almost counting down the days until college and I don’t want to be. I would love if they weren’t always mad at me, they’re never mad at my siblings. How do I deal with this?

Signed,

Sarah

 

Dear Sarah,

It’s frustrating when you and your parents don’t get along, especially when you are around each other so much! Feeling like your folks are always on your case isn’t a good feeling, especially when you don’t have much opportunity to vent. You said that they do let you go out sometimes but other times you don’t really know what they expect from you. Consider talking to them about all of this. It seems like things are a little too inconsistent for your liking. Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down with them and see if you can come up with a social and school schedule; something like a reward for doing well and not “having an attitude”. Consider asking your other siblings how they deal what you could do to improve the relationship. They may be able to share their insight too. Communication might be able to open things up for your guys to see where you both are coming from. If you think that’s a good idea, try and it and see how it goes. I hope that gives you a helpful starting-point. You can also always give us a call and talk to a teen helpline counselor about what’s going on. Just letting it out helps at times; whenever you feel like having someone listen, call 211’s Teen Hotline at (954) 567-TEEN or just dial 2-1-1.

Best of Luck,
Marlena

P.S. I’ve found a helpful website to check out on stress and other topics too:
http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=Chris_Evert_Childrens_Hospital&lic=306&article_set=81452