Nothing feels right

2016/07/04 in Ask Marlena

Dear Marlena,


I’m going crazy cuz idk what I am. I always thought I was fine being a girl but now idk. I hate having a female body, but I like being feminine and wearing girl clothes. I started dressing as a boy and find wearing a binder really helpful, but I’m not passing and I feel like I look ugly as either gender now. It doesn’t feel right calling myself a boy, but I want a boy’s body so badly. Nothing feels right and I’m losing my mind over this! Plz help me figure what I am! -L



Dear L, I’m glad that you took this giant leap to start to get some questions answered! Gender Identity and sexuality can be looked at as fluid scale. In other words, some days you may feel more masculine than feminine and visa versa. I’m not an expert but I know when you are going through puberty, your body releases hormones called testosterone and estrogen. During this time, your body makes big changes. Feeling like you are born into the wrong body (female-to-male, male-to-female) is referred to as being transgender. Likewise, gender-free people are those who may not identify as either male or female. What’s important to remember is that transgender or gender-free people are just as capable as anyone else. They are doctors, lawyers, mothers/fathers or athletes. Throughout your life journey you may encounter people who are discriminatory or uncomfortable with who you are, however, you are incredible and I thank you for reaching out.

If you would like more resources on transgender identity you may want to check out these links,

Another great resource is

I hope that you find these resources to be helpful! If you have any more questions feel free to give us a call at 2-1-1. They are always there to talk L, don’t stop being you!- Marlena

P.S. You may also find it helpful to check with the GSA, Gay and Lesbian Alliance in your school.